Avoid arguing with each other and if it is being made, feel happy in letting your spouse win that argument.
By Maria Gul Laraib
Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationships in life. It is the only relationship which you develop at some stage of your adulthood with a willing intention to make its length till death.
Truth it is that, if Adam and Eve would not have lived with this strong bond till death, this world would not have been in the shape we are having it now. From ages, couples have sacrificed and endured with affection, perseverance and kindness, not only to make their marriage long lasting, but also to set ideal examples by performing a key role in making healthy and peaceful societies.
As Fawn Weaver says, “Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ deaths do us part is the length.”
It is worth mentioning here that, the ratio of successful marriages in the recent years has decreased to a considerable extent. Reading these lines the majority of Pakistanis might be thinking that the women are the major culprits in this situation!!
I consider this viewpoint a little conventional to be applied where the entire living style and family setup is evolving three times faster than it used to evolve half a century before .Obviously, the change in our local culture is also resulting in transformed thinking patterns.
Today’s changing beliefs require problems to be solved within the light of facts, and not merely blaming a single spouse. Husbands also need to put the same amount of effort as demanded by their better halves.
The task is not that difficult as it sounds to be…All you need is to follow little rules in order to simplify your married life:
• Rober Quillen rightly says:
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers”. Learn to ignore each other’s little mistake.
• Spend loads of quality time with each other by focusing on listening to your partner, and not speaking like a chatter box. Marriages with good listeners last forever.
• Don’t forget to pay compliments and nice words to each other every day.
• Be gallant and welcoming especially when saying good bye and, at reunion times at the tea and dining table.
• Give your spouse a lot of space never checking each other’s phones or where he/she goes.
• Husbands and wives are required to take care of their looks in accordance with the wishes of each other.
• Avoid arguing with each other and if it is being made, feel happy in letting your spouse win that argument. Believe it or not, at the 2nd or 3rd argue your better half will let you win that one.
• Anger is a natural emotion. Partners being so close to one another; do channelize their worldly frustration on each other. Sensing your partner’s sensitive condition gives way to his/her anger by soothing him/her afterwards. Never ever get angry at the same time.
• Never forget special occasions like anniversaries, birthdays and special surprises and arrangements made by your spouse.
• Never emotionally blackmail each other by criticizing the people your partner is emotionally attached with especially his/her blood relations.
There are also some pieces of advice which only women and men are supposed to follow individually:
Men should keep in mind that our eastern women are fragile and unconditionally sacrificing creatures but, very decisive at times when they are not properly treated.
• Always be ready to treat them in a tender manner readily offering your shoulder with affection when needed.
• Wives rapidly need verbal assurance about their looks and about your sincerity and affection to them which you should not forget to give.
• Never insult her by treating her like an object or pressurizing her emotionally.
• Do not dare to praise or look at other women in front of her.
• Play little pranks and let your wife laugh on your jokes especially at times when she is emotionally lost.
• Make her feel more like your best friend.
• Help her with little domestic activities especially when she is tired. It makes a woman love her man unconditionally!!
It is true that a Pakistani woman is trained form childhood to sacrifice, stay quiet and be obedient. So, it is not that difficult for women to make their marriages successful, if the husbands also follow the above rules:
First women should always keep in their mind that South Asian men are born with a trade mark of being;
So get set to follow that:
• Let your man be the king!
• Never ask him to go to your mama’s home or for shopping when he is tired.
• Never ask questions like: Aap ka din kesa guzra? Instead talk about some fresh plans and interesting stuff.
• Do cook his favorite dish at least twice a week even when you also have to fulfill the wish of your kids.
• After having kids, never let him feel less important.
• Always let the remote control in your man’s hands. Feel pleasure in watching his favorite programmes. Being together should be your first priority rather than your favorite saas bahu soap.
• Always maintain a neat, clean and peaceful environment in home.
Couples should consciously follow the above set of rules for an exemplary ‘married life’.
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” says Fawn Weaver